Dora through the years.

Dora the Illegal Immigrant who was lucky enough to travel around the world without her parents consent

Here she is

That particular student.

We've all have had that one(or maybe two) classmate who always raises their hand enthustiastically when the teacher asks if someone can volunteer to read a passage or whatever. Well, most of the time...they aren't really the ones that we would really want to hear read. They actually do more damage than actually helping us read because..

WELL LETS JUST SAY 

this is what comes in my mind.

And the scenario goes a little bit something like this..


Teacher: Okay class who wants to read the first couple paragraphs?

• FML NO NO NONOOOO DONT YOU DARE RAISE YOUR HAND!
• Please not him please not him please not him. for the love of god
  
• TEACHER: *picks him* ME: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

• GODDAMMIT!! That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA.
•  -____- and That’s a COMMA... NOT A PERIOD.
• Slow down dude, You're not getting chase by anything
  
• You sure you in the right class?
• You can’t pronounce THAT word?
• That word says 'supplemental' Why can't you pronounce that word?

• EVERYONE JUST MUMBLED AND TOLD YOU THE CORRECT WAY OF SAYING IT, WHY'D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN. DAMMIT.
  
• Please someone take over. THIS INSTANT. NOW
  
• Why did you even raise your hand when you can't even read.
  
• WHAT THE FUHH
  
• WHAT THE HELL
• AAAAH
• The hell you like long ass paragraphs for?!?!?!?!?!?
• Excuse me sir, Uhmm You skipped a line. !!!!$@#!%$#&#$
• Stop right there! Your turn's over!! (*keeps going* nooooooo)
  
• OMG STOP
  
• LMAO WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY? I can't see that written anywhere 
• WTF ARE U READING
• My skin's crawling, I'm bout to rage.

  

•  please stop right nowwwwwww

• I give up. /suicide

my face.

ITS A TORTURE!
Ya feel me y'all!?
I hope i'm not the only one.

Sunday LOL of the day!

...fffffff
idk bout you but this picture got me laughing


p.s. new entry coming soon! just too lazy to write right now

In Reality... this is what happened.

WELL, I have come to a lot of realizations that some stories told to us when we were kids we're not entirely true or were cover up by some false story told by our parents, scientists, and/or government.

Santa Claus. 

-When you were still young you probably believed that Santa Claus was real and have always wanted to see him in person... then you became teenager and your hopes of seeing him fades quickly as you then realize that it's all just a conspiracy. Then, you grow up, get married, and have kids and you suddenly find yourself in the position of being Santa Claus and then making your kids believe that he is real. [rude.]

Finally, you grow very old, become short, and fat.

CONGRATULATIONS, You now look like Santa Claus.

Dinosaurs. The Real Reason.

fml.

-You still probably think that the dinosaurs main reason of extinction was done by volcano eruptions, meteor showers, tsunamis, lack of food, and other great natural occurring disasters done by the Earth itself. Well folks, I am about to tell you that i think what had really happened was Barney just came along and the dinosaurs gave up on reproducing and eventually killed themselves.

Jack from Titanic
-Did he really die? There was so much extra space on that door Rose was holding to, She could've most likely saved him.Oh well. After 13years, what really happened was Jack luckily survived and got washed up on the beach in the movie Inception.

Unicorns. Yes they do exist.   

-Unfortunately, they're not as majestic as what they used to be. They've become old, gray and fat. But still strong! if that counts. They also got renamed and are now known as Rhinoceros.

Ketchup?lollwtf

-It's called vegetable if it has no seed and It's called fruit if it has seed..right?

So that makes tomato a fruit. Hence, Making ketchup really a smoothie.

haha dont hate that was lame

What goes around, comes back around.

-Let's talk about babies and old people. You would think they'd have a lot of differences but secretly, they're mostly alike. 

Think about it.

Babies need walkers and old people need wheelchair.

They both wear diapers.

Babies have cribs and Old people have retirement homes.

They both speak in a gibberish way.

Babies have babysitters and Old people have nurses.

They eat mostly of mushy food.

and the only difference is probably how babies are hard to make them fall sleep while Old people just sleep all the time.

amiright?!


p.s. sorry for the lack of posts recently. 

  

Cleaning your Room is a workout itself.

So yesterday, i finally decided to clean my super messy room. It was just a random moment where i was just like "Hmm, yep going to clean my room today" Me and my friend even named it Africa. It was so messy that i couldn't even walk in a straight line. I had to hop and shiiiet.

Pic related.

Africa

Then i was about to start cleaning my room and i just froze for a minute and went.."shit, where the hell do i start."

So I just sat on my bed for a good 2minutes and carefully planned on how will i clean my room. I decided to write a list of procedures on where to start etc etc.

Midway on my little cleaning escapade, I started thinking... what if i moved things around.. would it create more space for me? So i started measuring my bed and see if it's okay to turn it around 90degrees. Fortunately, It was possible so i moved it around then i decided to switch the places of my desk and my dresser. They were quite heavy and my back and butt started aching haha but i had them under control.



I even took a series of photos just to see my progress for the lulz.(see below)


 
After 5 long grueling hours of moving all 3furnitures..washing blankets and pillowcases, throwing 4plastic bags worth of trash and and putting everything where they're supposed to be..
My room felt so much better than before and it doesn't feel like im locked in since i have a small room. My room never felt so fresh. And i've never felt so free!
Last time i can only fit 3people in my room. Now i can fit 5 comfortably. :') and i'm very proud of the new look of my room. Even my parents were amazed when they saw my new room, they were pretty happy themselves.


Dundundndun. here it is.

Laggin it.

Sorry for not posting recently. 

I had a busy weekend but i had a lot of fun! I'll get at you all soon enough!
And also, TO My supporters! You guys have been great!

p.s.

Here's some life hacks for you.

Math Legends.

The most clever mothertruckers who solved math problems without needing to use basic formulas.

 

I feel your pain bro. I would've done the same.

Clearly, The elephant was in the way!

 

This guy's the true legend.

 

FFFFF.

  

 AND THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE!

P.S.
I hate math to the highest level. MATH NEEDS TO GROWUP AND SOLVE HER OWN DAMN PROBLEMS.
I have too many problems myself.

THIS. Glass. In different points of view.

GARBHLHAGARGHGLHLG

How to Draw an OWL in TWO STEPS!!!!

Okay Step 1.

 

Once you're done with the circles -make sure the head is a circle and the body is oval

 Proceed..

Please. If you're seated on a chair.

Do me a favor will ya?

Just a tip.

If somebody ever asked for a "dirty picture" on your phone...

(Girls have probably been in this situation a lot.  Don't do it! you'll get destroyed.)

And you're under pressure and doesn't know what to do. 

Here's the best way to handle it. Might as well play with it.

Tell them OKAY without hesitation.

Then....

Well, let's talk about Ass.

- YES  i'm gonna talk about the ass where courageous people do the nasty.
- YUP we're gonna talk about the slang term of donkey.
- hellyea we gonna talk about that ass i happen to accidentally grab every time i walk by a sexygirl (i'm playin'! )
- YESSS! we're gonna talk about how it's use to describe a foul flavor or smell, though not directly comparing the odor to ass itself, thus creating a "catch-all" category of troublesome sensory inputs.
- and maybe.. about how it's 3/4's of Jennifer Lopez's weight, why not?

yesplz.

Get yo' brains ready!

Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! Again, as quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of them …. really. Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something)

THINK of a number from 1 to 10




MULTIPLY that number by 9



If the number is a 2-digit number, ADD the digits together



Now SUBTRACT 5



DETERMINE which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)



THINK of a country that starts with that letter

REMEMBER the last letter of the name of that country

THINK of the name of an animal that starts with that letter

REMEMBER the last letter in the name of that animal

THINK of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter O

I am astounded! This is my 6th day of blogging..

And guess what!

Feeling stressful lately?

Indulge yourself with desserts.
Nothing's gonna make you feel better than eating these sweet delicacies when stressed.

To end all roses and violets poems.

   Roses are red

and Violets are blue

...

..

.

Women. A Chemical Analysis and more. My version

What: Women

Inventor: God (some of you may not concur, deal with it.)
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 120lbs. But most are in between 80lbs & 300lbs.

Occurences: Crazy ones usually come around at night. Some are found hidden on sketchy streets. oh and Internet. Good ones are in the kitchen

Favorite candy: As long as it contains chocolate and/or nuts.
Option:if it comes at a pricey cost, you're good.

Physical Skills: Cook, Clean, Serve.

Mental Skills: Friendzone, Heartbreak, Apply depression, Golddiggin. Delete/Remove Benefits. Hardtoget.

If men had vaginas.

Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a Ping-Pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
And, the number one thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina:

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.




--
i lold 

ILL THROW MY HOMEWORK IN THE AIR SOMETIMES, SAYING AYYYYOOOOO! ILL TAKE A ZERO!!!!!

Oh how i just remember highschool.

I remember every first day of highschool the following thoughts come into my mind. AND ITS ALWAYS LIKE THIS!! :

Gingerbread SEX. Tasty.

 I LOL'd so hard at this

Must've been appetizing

Pet Peeve.

-I have alot of em. Fat bitches wearing skin tight shirts and leggings.

-And boys trying to act all tough. Im just like get outta here you aint nothing.

-I also hate it when people tell me to do stuff 234234x. I only need it to hear it once. I WILL DO IT. THE MORE YOU TELL ME TO DO IT, THE MORE I DELAY

-Facebook whores updating their status every 4.633 seconds

UGh I HAVE MORE but these are just the major ones i needed to post here.

..i do love whitegirls though.

What are you guy's pet peeves?

I wanna get big. 25

I'm on a mission.

I want to gain 25poudns by the end of the year.
I started last month, got my 24hr fitness membership

Started 133lbs.
now at 140.
target is 155-165

So far i have gained 7lbs and im looking pretty good and cut'ish?
But im not satisfied. I need some size.

Just some mission for me to feel more comfortable about myself. Yknow a confidence boost.

How bout you guys? What's your short term goals as of right now?

I LOVE MASHUPS LIKE THIS!!!!

What do you guys think? What kind of music do you guys listen to?

Hi.

This is going to be my official blogger.

I will blog about anything i find interesting, what comes in my mind, and little trivial things.

Mostly consisting humor.

Welcome to my world.

enjoi