We've all have had that one(or maybe two) classmate who always raises their hand enthustiastically when the teacher asks if someone can volunteer to read a passage or whatever. Well, most of the time...they aren't really the ones that we would really want to hear read. They actually do more damage than actually helping us read because..
WELL LETS JUST SAY
this is what comes in my mind.
And the scenario goes a little bit something like this..
Teacher: Okay class who wants to read the first couple paragraphs?
FML NO NO NONOOOO DONT YOU DARE RAISE YOUR HAND!
Please not him please not him please not him. for the love of god
WELL, I have come to a lot of realizations that some stories told to us when we were kids we're not entirely true or were cover up by some false story told by our parents, scientists, and/or government.
-When you were still young you probably believed that Santa Claus was real and have always wanted to see him in person... then you became teenager and your hopes of seeing him fades quickly as you then realize that it's all just a conspiracy. Then, you grow up, get married, and have kids and you suddenly find yourself in the position of being Santa Claus and then making your kids believe that he is real. [rude.]
Finally, you grow very old, become short, and fat.
CONGRATULATIONS, You now look like Santa Claus.
Dinosaurs. The Real Reason.
-You still probably think that the dinosaurs main reason of extinction was done by volcano eruptions, meteor showers, tsunamis, lack of food, and other great natural occurring disasters done by the Earth itself. Well folks, I am about to tell you that i think what had really happened was Barney just came along and the dinosaurs gave up on reproducing and eventually killed themselves.
Jack from Titanic -Did he really die? There was so much extra space on that door Rose was holding to, She could've most likely saved him.Oh well. After 13years, what really happened was Jack luckily survived and got washed up on the beach in the movie Inception.
Unicorns. Yes they do exist.
-Unfortunately, they're not as majestic as what they used to be. They've become old, gray and fat. But still strong! if that counts. They also got renamed and are now known as Rhinoceros.
-It's called vegetable if it has no seed and It's called fruit if it has seed..right?
So that makes tomato a fruit. Hence, Making ketchup really a smoothie.
haha dont hate that was lame
What goes around, comes back around.
-Let's talk about babies and old people. You would think they'd have a lot of differences but secretly, they're mostly alike.
Think about it.
Babies need walkers and old people need wheelchair.
They both wear diapers.
Babies have cribs and Old people have retirement homes.
They both speak in a gibberish way.
Babies have babysitters and Old people have nurses.
They eat mostly of mushy food.
and the only difference is probably how babies are hard to make them fall sleep while Old people just sleep all the time.
So yesterday, i finally decided to clean my super messy room. It was just a random moment where i was just like "Hmm, yep going to clean my room today" Me and my friend even named it Africa. It was so messy that i couldn't even walk in a straight line. I had to hop and shiiiet.
Then i was about to start cleaning my room and i just froze for a minute and went.."shit, where the hell do i start."
So I just sat on my bed for a good 2minutes and carefully planned on how will i clean my room. I decided to write a list of procedures on where to start etc etc.
Midway on my little cleaning escapade, I started thinking... what if i moved things around.. would it create more space for me? So i started measuring my bed and see if it's okay to turn it around 90degrees. Fortunately, It was possible so i moved it around then i decided to switch the places of my desk and my dresser. They were quite heavy and my back and butt started aching haha but i had them under control.
I even took a series of photos just to see my progress for the lulz.(see below)
After 5 long grueling hours of moving all 3furnitures..washing blankets and pillowcases, throwing 4plastic bags worth of trash and and putting everything where they're supposed to be..
My room felt so much better than before and it doesn't feel like im locked in since i have a small room. My room never felt so fresh. And i've never felt so free!
Last time i can only fit 3people in my room. Now i can fit 5 comfortably. :') and i'm very proud of the new look of my room. Even my parents were amazed when they saw my new room, they were pretty happy themselves.
- YES i'm gonna talk about the ass where courageous people do the nasty.
- YUP we're gonna talk about the slang term of donkey.
- hellyea we gonna talk about that ass i happen to accidentally grab every time i walk by a sexygirl (i'm playin'! )
- YESSS! we're gonna talk about how it's use to describe a foul flavor or smell, though not directly comparing the odor to ass itself, thus creating a "catch-all" category of troublesome sensory inputs.
- and maybe.. about how it's 3/4's of Jennifer Lopez's weight, why not?
Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! Again, as quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of them …. really. Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something)
THINK of a number from 1 to 10
MULTIPLY that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, ADD the digits together
Now SUBTRACT 5
DETERMINE which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with (example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
THINK of a country that starts with that letter
REMEMBER the last letter of the name of that country
THINK of the name of an animal that starts with that letter
REMEMBER the last letter in the name of that animal
THINK of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter O
What:Women Inventor: God (some of you may not concur, deal with it.) Discoverer: Adam Atomic Mass: Accepted at 120lbs. But most are in between 80lbs & 300lbs. Occurences: Crazy ones usually come around at night. Some are found hidden on sketchy streets. oh and Internet. Good ones are in the kitchen
Favorite candy: As long as it contains chocolate and/or nuts.
Option:if it comes at a pricey cost, you're good.
Top ten things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a Ping-Pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
And, the number one thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina: